New Year. New Attitude.

Earlier this week I pre-wrote my Tuesday post and it had the exact same title: New Year.  New Attitude.  It was a really nice post about how 2012 has been a trying year for me and much of that was due to my own attitude.  I wrote all about the great things that happened in 2012, that unfortunately I took for  granted at the time.  I talked about feeling discouraged and saddened by the ways of the world, and how time after time I had failed to see the silver lining.  I made a commitment to get back to my old optimistic ways.

Then I made 3 very simple promises to myself.  3 promises for 2013.

  1. I believe in God’s perfect timing, but this year I will start trusting in it.
  2. I will always look for the silver lining, even when it is difficult to see.
  3. I will be thankful for the blessings in my life.  Every.  Single.  Day.

Sooner then I expected, that whole new year/new attitude rhetoric that we all love to throw around this time of year got put to the test.

I was out with a group of friends for some NYE festivities.  It was about 11:00 and we had just ordered our first rum & diet from the bar at Tavern On Broad when I saw him.  This guy.  The last guy that I really liked.  The one who I haven’t seen since he broke up with me via text message months ago.  Yeah that guy.  And there he was… with his new girlfriend… ringing in the new year at the same bar as me.

When you break up with someone, you always wonder what  the first encounter will be like, running through lots of possibilities in your head.  With this guy, every scenario I dreamed up involved:  a) Me having a super attractive and successful new boyfriend on my arm.  b) Him trying to talk to me, only to have me reply with a sassy line from a Beyonce song.  Or c) Me looking fabulous (of course), walking up to him, staring him in the eye, and telling him to “kiss my tight runner’s a**.”

But when the real encounter happens, it’s nothing like what you’ve imagined.  Because real life , I’ve learned, never ever goes the way we imagine, now does it?

So this is what actually happened.  I was sipping my drink and boppin around to the music with my group when all of a sudden my friend grabbed my  arm and said, “oh my gosh Meghan, isn’t that…”  I looked up just in time to see the boy who made me miserable earlier in the year walk by.  My already big eyes grew about 3 sizes as they bugged out of my head.  Him?  Here?  On NYE?  There are 1.5 million people in this city!  How is that possible!?

My friends asked if I was OK.  I thought about it for a second before answering “yes.” Sure, I was surprised, I was caught off guard, I was taken aback, but I was definitely OK.  For the next 20 minutes, I had the pleasure of watching him sloppily make out with his new girlfriend.  It was definitely awkward, but it only took about 2 seconds to realize I sure was glad that  it wasn’t me having my face eaten on the dance floor.  And even though I really was OK, my friends proved to me again why they are the best.  The girls said things like, “Oh my gosh, you are WAY hotter than her anyway,” (even if it isn’t true) and “Remember that thing his cousin’s friend told my sister about him?  Ah, you are SO much better off.”  My guy friend took it upon himself to twirl me on the dance floor more than normal, talk a little closer than usual, and make me laugh harder than anyone else in the bar… just in case the other guy was looking.  I didn’t need the help or the encouragement, but I was definitely glad to have it.

The thing I love about this story is that 2012 Meghan would  have let this encounter ruin her night, but 2013 Meghan was able to smile and move on.  I didn’t even want to go talk to him, because I wouldn’t have had anything nice to say.  And quite frankly, I didn’t really care what he thought about me.   I didn’t have a boyfriend.  I didn’t quote Beyonce.  And I definitely didn’t feel the need to draw attention to my runner’s bum.  I was surrounded by some of my very nearest and dearest friends and that is what mattered.  We were celebrating the survival of a not-so-great year, and toasting to the prospect of a better one to come.

My night, just like my life, was full.  Full of love.  Full of friendship.  Full of hope.

There was no more fitting way to wrap up 2012 than to be forced to face my past, and there was no better way to welcome 2013 than with my brand spanking new outlook on life.

So cheers to a new year.  Cheers to a new attitude.  And cheers to always always finding the silver lining.


Tall  One

PS: If you haven’t seen Silver Linings Playbook yet, you should probably go while it is still in theaters.  That movie will warm the heck out of your heart, I promise.


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